So after watching a surprisingly exciting game (congrats, Giants), we stop again for the “Running of the Spots.” I’ve done my best to consolidate, eliminate and compress a gargantuan 2012 commercial collection.
But before we get into it, there are a few random things I’m calling out here:
First, the inclusion of too much LMFAO music. We were treated, via several commercials, as well as halftime, with “I’m Sexy and I Know it,” and “Party Rock Anthem.” I think we’re all over this. Group vote? Yeah, I thought so.
Madonna’s halftime show closing was a wide shot of the stage/field displaying the words “WORLD PEACE” in the Comic Sans typeface…or at least it looked as if it were Comic Sans. Even being similar is bad. Buy a font, Madge.
Remember Justin Timberlake’s “I’m Bringing Sexy Back” song? Sexism is apparently REALLY back. Adriana Lima of Vicky’s Secret fame was featured in two different advertiser’s spots (Teleflora and Kia)—flaunting her underthings. GoDaddy: That’s all I have to say. There was a couch made of women in bikinis in a Camry ad. Catrinel Menghia chewed a dude out for—get this—being a pig (only it was in Italian, so most people didn’t notice). All in all, the pig factor might have gone up a touch, and I’m not sure it ALL worked as a delivery vehicle.
This one is really good considering the result of the game: Dick’s Sporting Goods in the New England area had a spot made congratulating the Patriots on another Championship. They told people they’d be open at 6am to sell 2012 championship gear. It aired before the game was over. The Giants won. Ouch.
Rush Limbaugh was spotted picking his nose in New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft’s luxury box. And that’s hilarious.
There’s another G.I. Joe movie coming. This time they’ve added Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. I can smell what they’re cookin’. And it needs to go out in a Hefty bag.
Now, onto the advertisers (in no particular order):
1. Hulu – Pretty much them doing what they’ve done before. With Will Arnett. Secret lab, we own your brain, etc. I don’t think this is as good as when we saw them do it a few years back with Alec Baldwin, Denis Leary, etc.
2. Old Navy – “Corporado” – a spoof ad about boring clothes from a store that sells boring clothes? To think at Christmas time, their ads hawked stocking caps with built-in headphones.
3. McDonald’s – an ad about how their charities have immediate impact on childrens’ lives, featuring a child leukemia survivor. Noble to be sure, but it didn’t make us forget the pink goo.
4. Hyundai – “Rocky Theme” – not bad. A Hyundai designer is inspired by the entire company singing him “Gonna Fly Now” from the first Rocky flick. Chuckle worthy.
5. Hyundai – “Cheetah”- a dude races a Cheetah with a Veloster. The cheetah is more interested in eating his friend by the cage. Veloster dude smirks, drives on because he’s a tool.
6. Hyundai-“Think Fast”-A guy’s boss dies in the passenger seat. He slams the car’s brake and gas to shock the old codger back to life. Very funny. Like I always say, old people or dogs. Or both. Comedy GOLD.
7. Annheiser-Busch –“Bud Light Platinum Reveal”- What, no Titanium? We had gold, now Platinum. In a few years?-Bud Light Melibdinum. It’s ‘LEET’.
8. Annheiser-Busch –“Prohibition”- I like this one just because of the production value. Excellent sets and costume work. Other than that, it’s people happy to be drunk in public again.
9. Annheiser-Busch-“Bud Light: Halftime”- LMFAO is in this one. So yeah, NO. Also, “Here We Go” is a really dumb slogan.
10. Annheiser-Busch –“Budweiser Generations”- Very cool work to make each decade obvious in 3 or 4 seconds. Liked it.
11. Annheiser-Busch –“Bud Light-Weego”- a dog is named after the Bud Light slogan. People who are apparently marketing robots keep spouting off the tagline, which makes the dog get them beer–Oh I can’t even continue.
12. Audi –“Vampires”-Twilight kids get roasted by Audi headlights. Hey Audi, the people that thought this was clever are not old enough to drive, and can’t even afford the headlamp by itself. And…vampires? You’re so relevant.
13. Pepsi –“Elton John”-Sir Elton gets all royal queen on us and Nikki Minaj throws him down a hole with Flava Flav. Can you feel the love? Drink Pepsi.
14. M&M’s –“That Kinda Party”- People like this one. You can’t NOT like those little cartoon candies. The LMFAO music, however…
15. Coca-Cola –“Polar Bears”-BLAH. Blah. BLAHBLAHBLAH. Onward…
16. Chrysler –“Clint Eastwood”-Probably one of my top picks. While Chevy was busy poking fun at Ford for making substandard vehicles (duh, mah Shivvy better than yur Ferd), Chrysler was busy telling everyone that this country doesn’t give up, or lay down when faced with adversity. And they used Dirty Harry Callahan himself. Loved it.
17. Chevy Silverado-“Apocalypse”-The world ends in 2012. The only survivors are Twinkie-eating pickup drivers. Color me excited about the future. Oh, and Chevy takes a shot at Ford F-150 for being allegedly substandard. An argument that has raged longer than Israel/Palestine.
18. Bridgestone –“Aikman/Deion” and “Duncan/Nash”- I thought the spots were a tad misguided. Mildly silly. But I’d love to know what this did to further the brand.
19. GoDaddy –“Body Paint” and “Cloud”- Hi, we’re GoDaddy. Our CEO has been seen hunting endangered elephants in Africa, we support SOPA/PIPA/ACTA and refuse to stop making the same sleazy stupidity year after year regardless of how many people are revolted by the mention of our name. Don’t you like us?
20. Doritos –“Bribery”- a Dog bribes his owner with Doritos. Simple and funny. Loved it. Hey—has anyone seen the cat?
21. Doritos –“Baby Sling”- from the safety of a tree house, a kid ridicules an old granny and a baby. Granny slingshots the baby, who in turn steals the Doritos from tree house boy. Very funny. Old people. Comedy GOLD.
22. GE/Budweiser –“We Don’t Make Beer”- Okay, this one had me scratching my head. Cross promotion between Budweiser and GE. GE tells us that if they didn’t exist, then neither would your beer. Okaaaay. Oh, and they own NBC, the network that had the game this year. Aha.
23. TaxAct –“Totally Free”- A kid pees in a pool. And only we know about it.
24. VW –“Dog/Vader Choke”- Again VW brings the heat. Really cool spot involving a dog (again, GOLD) who gets himself in shape, just to look good enough to chase the new Beetle. The spot is ragged on by the scoundrels at the Star Wars Mos Eisley Cantina (whoa, transition), and one is choked by Vader. Love these.
25. Chevy Sonic –“Firsts”- The micro-car is treated like it’s in an episode of “Jackass”. Which will endear it to millions of first-time drivers. Genius.
26. Chevy Sonic –“Bugs”-various insects toss themselves at the front of a Sonic. Funny stuff.
27. Skechers –“G-run Dog”-Now this is what I think of when I think of a SuperBowl Ad. A Pug invades a dog track and beats all the Greyhounds because he’s wearing G-runs. He then moonwalks across the finish line to “Wild Thing”. Mark Cuban is in the spot, but hey, no ad is perfect.
28. Cars.com –“Confidence”-A man’s confidence grows out of the back of his neck and starts singing soul music to persuade him to buy the vehicle. Another good one.
29. E-Trade-You know what, until the baby goes, I’m not reviewing another E-trade spot.
30. NBC-“The Voice”- the cast does kung-fu. Aguilera doesn’t wet her pants this time, and Betty White is in it, which makes it instantly great.
31. Fiat –“500 Abarth”- an Italian (she’s actually Romanian) girl gets hot’n’steamy with a geeky fella. She chews him out in Italian for ogling her, then he realizes she was the car…What? And Fiats are a lot of things, but sexy ain’t one of them.
32. Pepsi Max –“For Life”- a Coke deliver guy accidentally wins free Pepsi for life. This would be clever, if we hadn’t seen the same kind of thing from these companies a billion times already.
33. Toyota –“Camry Reinventing”- Overall a really funny spot. Couch made of bikini chicks? Really?
34. Acura –“Seinfeld NSX”- Sucker for the Seinfeld. And this one is no exception. Very funny spot.
35. NFL-“Evolution”-Awesome effects work showing a play that progresses from the inception of the NFL all the way to present day-in one shot.
36. Honda CRV-“Ferris Bueller”-Great idea. Had a lot of people wishing for a Ferris Bueller sequel. Loved the parallels with the classic movie. Well done.
37. Met Life –“Everyone”-OMG, all my Saturday morning cartoons in one spot. Grape Ape, JabberJaw, and VOLTRON. Gotta give it up for VOLTRON.
38. Kia –“Sandman”- The sandman accidentally puts a guy into dream-overload. Very funny.
39. Careerlink.com –“Odd Couple”- Same notice as E-trade. Give up the monkeys, and I’ll talk to you again.
40. Samsung –“Thing Called Love”- A line of iPhone devotees discover the Galaxy device and insanity breaks out, complete with power-hair music from Justin Hawkins of the band “The Darkness”. Definitely shot on the Universal lot. VERY recognizable backlot. Silly spot.
Overall, really dug Clint Eastwood, VW, Doritos and the Honda/Acura Ads. Until next year!